Today I learned a lesson...
Never ever attempt to cut your child's hair if you have no barbering training. Yep, that's right I tried to cut my sons hair. I am beginning to think its kind of a right of passage for mother and son because almost everyone I've talked to has had the same traumatic incident happen to them. the process is somewhat like this...
"my kid needs a hair cut. I don't feel like packing him up and driving down to the barber shop and forking over $20 for a hair cut. All I need is a pair of hair-clippers, I'll save so much money every year if i just do this myself...more money for shoes!! . How hard can it be right?"
yea, that was my thought process. So I went out and bought the cheapest $20 hair clippers Target had to offer.
"$20 Those look good! Hey, that's how much money I would spend on a hair cut and now I will only pay this one time and I'll call it an investment!! I never have to go to that fancy shmancy Kids Kuts place again!! Muahahaha!! How hard can it be right?"
So we get home pull a chair out to the garage and get set up. Unpack the clippers and turn those bad boys on...
" Here we go... this wont be hard at all. Nice even fluid stroked across his head.... Oh shoot, thats a little shorter then I thought. Well, thats alright as long as its all even.'"
Then your ticklish 4 year old starts to squirm and giggle. You ask him to "hold still just like you do at the hair place for the nice old lady who cuts your hair. Okay?" "Yea, okay mom, but it tickles!" "Yes, I know but just hold still for a few minutes" Next buzz goes smoothly. Then he decides to turn his head as fast as he can to watch for the car coming down the street...
"SHIT! Oh crap!! This is just great... WTH am I going to do now? Just make it a little shorter I guess. It's summer time after all no one has to know I didn't mean for it to be this short...
So you continue on with the hair cut and finally give up when its all as short as humanly possible and patchy in some spots.
"Well I guess that's even enough, can't get any shorter unless i go get my razor out of the shower. He has a few hats he can wear for the next week or two. It will grow back, his hair grows so fast it will be back to normal in no time.
Then I walk around to the front of my sweet little boy to see the damage.
"OMG WHAT DID I DO?!" He looks like a pitiful bald little thing. That was harder then I thought! I am never doing this again!
Smile at your kiddo and tell him he is bald and beautiful and his hair will grow back reall soon. Throw in a "Especially if you eat all your veggies!" Give him a hug, brush him off and send him in the house for a shower.
Your kid see's his reflection in the mirror and jumps back in terror and rubs his head vigorously, then starts to cry. You feel like the worlds worst mother and you start to cry too and vow to him you will never ever touch his beautiful hair again!!
Bald and uneven but still handsome :)
